As discussed in previous units, the thesis statement is arguably the single most important sentence in your essay because it is the controlling idea of your entire composition. Every point you make in your essay stems from the thesis statement; therefore, it is imperative that your thesis statement is strong and clear.
Students often try too hard to sound academic when writing a thesis statement, and the result can be awkward or unclear. Consider this student's thesis statement:
There are many effects that have been caused by poverty; however, the most significant three are reflected in the general conditions of the body and mind, the process of obtaining knowledge, and the increasing criminal activities.
The above example is needlessly wordy and, therefore, is not as clear as it could be. Do not try to impress the reader with your language; instead, keep your main point simple and clear:
Poverty affects society in many ways; however, the most significant impact can be seen in its effects on health, education, and crime.
The above thesis is an improvement because the topic and controlling idea are easy to identify and understand. Here is another possibility:
Poverty can have a harmful impact on people’s health, it can reduce one’s opportunities for a good education, and it can lead to crime and victimization.
Take note that, in the two revised thesis statements, the three points are grammatically parallel. You will now practice formulating thesis statements for cause and effect essays:
Exercise
Please open the exercise to continue